Peppers, Puppies and the Thin Veil Between the Living and the Dead.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

If you've ever wanted to come to Tennessee, now is the time to do it. The weather is perfect, with nights in the 40s and days in the 70s. The leaves are beautiful shades of red, gold and yellow, contrasting against the clear blue sky. The animals are happy, the mosquitoes are dead, and the garden is still putting out, albeit at a much more leisurely pace. It is the most wonderful time of the year, and I am totally in love with where I live.

Great News

First, a little housekeeping. Thank you to everyone who kept me in their thoughts and prayers and checked up on me after surgery. I am ecstatic to report that the surgery was successful. They think they got it all, and I won't have to endure any further treatments. May I never have to deal with that again, and may none of you dear readers ever have to either.

Boo!

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays, going all the way back to childhood. I still love it, although I don't know how anyone can afford to hand out candy this year. Walmart is selling those big 200-piece bags for $25! Sheesh. Kids are going to get shortchanged on candy, and all hell is going to break loose.

Let me tell you how this whole thing started.

Ancient Roots: Samhain and Guising

The tradition of Samhain dates back more than 2,000 years to the ancient Celts. It was observed on October 31, a time when people believed the boundary between the living and the dead became very thin. The Celts believed spirits and demons could wander among the living, so they wore masks and costumes to disguise themselves, blend in with the spirits or perhaps even fool them.

In Scotland and Ireland, young people practiced something called "guising." That's fancy talk for dressing up and going door to door telling jokes, singing songs or performing a little jig in exchange for fruit, nuts or money.

Medieval Christian Customs: Souling

During the Middle Ages, the Catholic Church established All Saints' Day on November 1 and All Souls' Day on November 2. Poor people and children would go "a-souling," visiting wealthier homes to receive small square cakes called soul cakes in exchange for promising to pray for the family's deceased relatives.

Somewhere along the way, all of this evolved into the modern Halloween tradition. Today, kids bang on your door, demand candy and stand there expectantly while their parents sit in the car chain-vaping and scrolling their socials.

And then there's my personal favorite: trunk-or-treating. Apparently, we've decided that instead of going door to door, children should wander around parking lots collecting candy from the trunks of strangers' cars. I did a Google, and surprisingly, I couldn't find reports of children being kidnapped at trunk-or-treat events. Still, I think it's a silly concept. Maybe it's because my parents drilled it into my head never to approach someone offering candy from a car. Never, ever, ever. For any reason.

Now, if that person has a puppy, that's a whole different story.

What do you do to celebrate? Do you dress up? I think I would if I had somewhere to go, but I don't really want to go anywhere. I'll just stay home, build a bonfire and see what comes out of the woods.

Chicken Are The Best Pumpkin Carvers

It's also pumpkin season! Thanks to the chickens breaking into my garden, I managed to grow exactly one pumpkin this year. And it's not even the orange kind. I'm going to make a pie with it and see what happens.

I'm too lazy to carve pumpkins, so I usually let the chickens do it for me. There's a little vegetable stand down the road, and I bought this ugly beast for five dollars so the birds could have their way with it. I use a screwdriver to poke a hole for each eye and the nose, then make a line of holes for the mouth. The chickens do the rest.

This one is looking a little like an owl so far, but I think it will get pretty creepy once they've pecked the eyes out a bit more.

I give the dogs a spoonful of pumpkin at night. It keeps the dog farts down to a more manageable level. I had planned to make my own pumpkin puree to freeze instead of buying cans, but alas, there was only one pumpkin. So, pie it is. Enough sugar can probably make even the squashiest pumpkin squash taste good!

A Few Good Books

I've read a few good books lately and am finally on the last book in the Outlander series. I've been listening to the audiobooks, and I have to say, Diana Gabaldon has created quite an undertaking. I've never seen one of her books in person, but the audio versions average around 45 hours each. That's a whole lot of listening!

People complain about the sex scenes and violence against women, and I'll admit that some of it is rough to listen to. But it's historical fiction, and the author has done an amazing job capturing the times. It's how things were in the 1700s and, unfortunately, still are in parts of the world. I particularly enjoy the herbalism, folklore and the narrator's performance. I'm not sure I would have read the books, but listening to them has been an enjoyable experience, even if it has taken me a very long time. Highly recommend.

The Wife, the Maid, and the Mistress by Ariel Lawhon

Historical fiction based on an actual missing-person case. It was an easy, engaging read about a rather unpleasant man who disappeared. All three women tell their versions of events, and the ending was unexpected.

The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston

A fiction book that hooked me from the beginning. A man with good intentions ends up living in a nursing home and loving it. That's all I can say because I'm not very good at reviewing books without giving away the plot. Read it. It's good.

Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth

Totally fiction, but of the last three books, this one was my favorite. I want to be just like Mabel when I grow up, and I'm thankful to have found my bosom buddy. This book made me think about how we treat people before actually getting to know them and how we are not defined by our past.

It also made me laugh out loud several times. I plan on reading more from this author. Ten out of ten. Must read.

The Pepper Situation

I plan to spend the weekend canning. You guessed it. Peppers.

Thanks to NONE of you for taking any hot peppers off my hands. I still have an absurd number of them. I have some fermenting in the crock to make hot sauce, and I'm guessing there's at least one five-gallon bucket left to deal with. Those will become cowboy candy.

For anyone unfamiliar with cowboy candy, it's basically candied hot peppers. We put it on pretty much everything, but I like it best on eggs and ice cream. Not at the same time, though. I'm not a psychopath.

Real Food and Other Luxuries

Have you heard of Azure Standard? Do a Google. You might like it.

I was on the hunt for field corn to make hominy, and one of the only places I could find it was Azure. They offer organic food from actual growers, delivered to your area for relatively reasonable prices. Well, the shipping is cheap. The food isn't necessarily cheap, but these days I'm willing to pay more for actual food instead of chemicals, fillers and bullshit being passed off as nutrition.

They have fruits and vegetables, meat, ice cream, dog food, soap and probably just about anything else you could want. Much of it comes from small farms and businesses rather than the big-box stores. I'm not much of a shopper, so this works well for me. They deliver once a month.

My Monthly Rant: American Express

I have had an American Express account for more than 20 years. Never missed a payment, and I used it for internet purchases rather than using a card attached to my bank account.

I also used it to buy things I didn't necessarily want Dennis to know about, like the possum butt warmers and the dog nail spa. Sorry, babe.

Then they up and canceled it.

I called to find out what was going on, and apparently they discontinued the card. But not to worry! I could simply apply for a new one because I have excellent credit.

So let me get this straight. I can apply for another card, which creates a hard inquiry on my credit report. Then, when I get the new card, my account history starts over. Losing all those years of credit history could also affect my credit score.

Thanks, American Express. But you can take your shiny new card and shove it up your ass.

Speaking of Asses...

I have another rant.

I was at the convenience center (a fancy word for community dump) and spotted a little black puppy running around. The "lady" who sits in the shed and gets paid to be there was asking people to either take the puppy or run it over.

I've been trying really hard to be a good human, but I lost my shit on her. I have no regrets.

Instead, I have a puppy.

Meet Jynx.

I think she's about three months old and a pit mix. She has some pretty nasty flea spots from being infested, but other than that, she's healthy and full of shit.

Less than 24 hours after she arrived, I took her for a walk with the big girls. She follows me everywhere so we off leashed it. We were about two miles into the forest when we got jumped by some wild dogs. I fired three shots to scare them off.

The next thing I knew, I was all alone.

No Pebbles. No Maggie. No puppy.

Shit.

I walked up and down the trail hollering and whistling for everyone, only to have the damn wild dogs come at me again. I decided it was time to head home.

I found Maggie about half a mile down the trail, waiting for me. Pebbles was about a mile down the road. Sleeping. My great protector was literally sleeping on the job.

I needed to get the side-by-side so I could drive back and search for the puppy, so we hustled home. I stepped onto the porch, and I'll be damned if Jynx wasn't sitting there waiting for me!

She must have cut through the woods because she didn't take the logging road. I still can't believe she managed to find her way home. Animals are so much smarter than I give them credit for.

I called all the shelters, and they all said they were full. I know the drill. She's a black pit mix, so apparently there's no room. If she were a fluffy white poodle, it would be a different story.

She's fitting in pretty well, and Maggie has someone to play with. That's a good thing because Maggie has gotten super lazy and a little chunky since starting her new job at the nursing home. She gets lots of extra snacks.

Puppies are such a pain in the ass. There's all the pooping, chewing and more pooping. But honestly, I think I needed the chaos. While she has absolutely zero impulse control, she's also incredibly sweet, and I find myself laughing at her antics more often than not.

Another Terrible Poem

If you're feeling down and blue,
Get a puppy. It'll love you.
Chewed-up shoes and piles of poo,
And somehow there's more poo.

When the pooping finally ceases,
Check the couch and all its creases.
Find a ruined remote and half a shoe,
And realize there's more to do.

Your favorite pillow's missing too,
The kitchen rug is now a chew.
But when that little monster sleeps,
You love the little shit to pieces.

O.G Has Left The Building

I thought it would be cool to have a possum living in the house, but O.G. had other ideas. The older he got, the stinkier he became, and he was into every damn thing. Possums have opposable thumbs and can climb like monkeys, so it wasn't unusual to grab a towel and find him hiding underneath it or hear the cupboards creaking open in the middle of the night because he was looking for snacks.

Dennis wasn't particularly impressed with O.G. using his bathroom for sleeping and pottying, either. He also had a habit of biting our toes, which can be a little alarming when you don't see him coming.

These days, O.G. comes home every night around 11, and I feed him on the porch, so I still get to see him. Occasionally, he manages to sneak into the house because the weather is so awesome that I regularly leave the doors open. Pebbles usually finds him and promptly "kills" him. I scoop him up and put him back outside.

She barks, he drops, and it's over. She walks away like she's badder than Michael Jackson, and he lives to see another day.

It's a win-win.

Happy Halloween!

Whether you're celebrating Halloween, observing Samhain, handing out candy, dressing up or hiding from the neighborhood children, I hope you have a good one.

I'll be here with my bonfire, a few dogs, probably a bucket of peppers and whatever happens to wander out of the woods.

Stay safe, enjoy the cooler weather, and remember to appreciate the little things. Sometimes they're covered in hair, smell vaguely like onions and have absolutely no respect for your furniture.

Until next time,

Grow wild.

~Stacey